Things I, An Intellectual, Have Learned
by Outsiders Obsessor
Summary: Throughout the course of their lives, the founding fathers, their friends, and love interests have learned many things. Some come to more realizations than others, but one thing can be sure: they are all salty and sarcastic towards one another. Each character comes to ten realizations throughout the course of the play and their lives. Contains many more characters than listed.
1. Chapter 1: Alexander Hamilton

**Things I, An Intellectual, Have Learned**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following people, as they were historical figures that have been adapted by Lin Manuel Miranda in order to create the amazing world of** ** _Hamilton_** **we have come to know and love. All underlined words were meant to have strikethrough text, but it is not supported on this site, so underline will have to suffice for now.**

 _Chapter One: Hamilton_

1\. Fathers are the worst. My so-called "father" abandoned me, and I will never call someone "Dad" again, lest he leave as well.

2\. Talk less; smile more. A note from Burr, my first friend and fellow orphan who I look up to more than a grown man should probably admit.

3\. Laurens, Lafayette, and Hercules are the best friends I could ever hope for. They also want a revolution and freedom. What are the odds? We'll always be together as a united Hamilsquad team.

4\. George Washington is my new father-figure or "Dad", even though I swore to never use that word again. He's exactly what I always imagined him to be, and a great role model as well. Though I am too vulnerable to be called "son".

5\. Charles Lee is a wimp. Seriously. General Washington aka George made a terrible choice, not one I approve of. At all. Similarly, John Jay is a weenie. Who gets sick after writing a mere five essays? (Even Madison wrote twenty-nine.)

6\. Aaron Burr changed political parties to run against my father-in-law. And _won._ Time for me to kill him. I joke. Not really. No, seriously. Maybe I'll opt for a harsh chewing out. I think Eliza would actually approve that plan.

7\. Thomas Jefferson reminds me that I did not honor my promise to Lafayette, but King Louis is dead. Lafayette is still my friend, and I know he will figure something out. Meanwhile, Jefferson called Washington my "Daddy" in public today. Apparently, we are drawing attention.

8\. Don't publish a pamphlet about the affair you had with someone else's wife. (Apparently, such an action causes everyone to believe you are one of the most unpredictable, sleazy men in government. Your career pretty much disintegrates in front of your eyes. Also, such an action apparently makes your wife incredibly mad at you, after your sister-in-law slaps you with the greatest verbal comebacks in the history of the world. Her turn of phrase still wounds me to this day as I write this.)

9\. Don't give your son duel advice. You will both lose. Philip, my darling son who outshines the morning sun, I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. How could I have protected you more? I always promised to be around and make the world safe for you. I failed you, Philip. Please forgive me. I do not deserve your forgiveness.

10\. Don't challenge Burr to a duel. _Ever._ Apparently, the guy shoots to kill. Woulda been nice to know before, you know. I challenged him and thus committed a grave mistake. This is why you don't lie to your wife about your whereabouts, kids.

 **Author's Note: And there it is! Chapter One of my very first** ** _Hamilton_** **FanFiction! My younger sister Madison has been obsessed with the musical for about four or five months now, and she has made me a fan over the past two months. This story is dedicated to her, so I hope you enjoy, Madison! There will be more chapters to this, each with a different character, so stay tuned! If anyone has any suggestions for future characters or future realizations, please drop them in a PM or a review! I have six of the next chapter ready for George Washington and all of Aaron Burr's written for Chapter Five, but don't hesitate to tell me if you have any ideas! As always, reviews are always appreciated; until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: George Washington

**Things I, An Intellectual, Have Learned**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following people, as they were historical figures that have been adapted by Lin Manuel Miranda in order to create the amazing world of** ** _Hamilton_** **we have come to know and love. Also, the underlined sections were supposed to have strikethrough text, but this site does not format text as such, so I used underline instead.**

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 _Chapter Two: George Washington_

1\. History has its eyes on me.

2\. Fighting for independence with one-third of the men Congress promised is challenging and beyond scary. Aaron Burr comes to off me advice; Hamilton's plans are far superior, so I hire the lad as my right-hand man.

3\. Hamilton is the son I never had. Honestly. The kid reminds me so much of myself. It's a bit scary, and sometimes I want to ask Martha if she has been hiding something important from me, and if Hamilton is lying about his true age. Though, there are some ways I know he is _not_ my son. My son would be disciplined. My son would have self-control. My son would not fight everyone who breathes. Hamilton _is_ my son.

4\. Eliza is pregnant with Alexander's child. While I am overjoyed for the two of them, I must send Alexander home by "whatever means necessary", according to the letter I received from Eliza. I am not looking forward to _that_ conversation. Though, knowing Hamilton, he will- unfortunately, but most likely- give me a legitimate, convincing reason to send him home.

5\. Upon further reflection, I have come to the conclusion that Charles Lee was not the best man to promote to General. He has been adding slander to my name, and while I am not in need of defending, it was always nice to hear Hamilton stick up for me. Camp is extremely quiet without Alexander and his arguing tendency, which, if I may be honest, is a welcome relief. Though, in contrast, I feel camp is _too_ quiet, and I need to get my right-hand man back.

6\. In order to convince Hamilton to come back, I must grant him his wish and supply him with his own troops to command. The chances of this action going extremely terrible within days is one-hundred percent certain. (Whatever were you thinking, George?) 

7\. The people are asking me to lead our new independent nation henceforth known as America. I am overwhelmed yet honored at the same time. To be a president is hard enough; to be the _first_ president in a new nation is nigh impossible to fathom. Thankfully, Hamilton and Jefferson agreed to be in my cabinet. I feel our cabinet will remain united.

8\. Apparently, I was wrong. Thomas Jefferson and Hamilton fight like two wolves vying for dominance, and neither one will admit defeat. I signed up to be the father of this country, not a father to two squabbling boys.

9\. Jefferson resigned to run for President. I must teach Alex how to say goodbye. I am ready for retirement. A vine and fig tree call my name in the distance.

10\. Hamilton has managed to destroy his life so terribly in the time since I have left office. I truly was one of his main anchors, and I suppose I am honored to fill his yearning for a father in his life.

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 **Author's Note: And there it is! Chapter Two of my very first** ** _Hamilton_** **FanFiction! My younger sister Madison has been obsessed with the musical for about four or five months now, and she has made me a fan over the past two months. This story is dedicated to her, so I hope you enjoy, Madison! There will be more chapters to this, each with a different character, so stay tuned! If anyone has any suggestions for future characters or future realizations, please drop them in a PM or a review! I have nine of the next chapter ready for Thomas Jefferson and all of Aaron Burr's written for Chapter Five, but don't hesitate to tell me if you have any ideas! As always, reviews are always appreciated; until next time! Also, I think it took me a longer time than imagined to write Washington's not only because of my homework, but also because he is my favorite and I didn't want to disappoint myself or Christopher Jackson's portrayal of my country's first president.**


	3. Chapter 3: Thomas Jefferson

**Things I, An Intellectual, Have Learned**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following people, as they were historical figures that have been adapted by Lin Manuel Miranda in order to create the amazing world of** _ **Hamilton**_ **we have come to know and love. Also, the underlined sections were supposed to have strikethrough text, but this site does not format text as such, so I used underline instead.**

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 _Chapter Three: Thomas Jefferson_

1\. James Madison is my very best friend. I don't care what anyone says. James and I go way back, and we will continue to help each other through the years. Nothing will change that.

2\. I am becoming the Ambassador to France. Such an experience and opportunity will definitely improve my career and potential resumé for a leadership position. Plus, I will get to indulge my inner Francophile.

3\. Lafayette and I have so much in common. Seriously. It is scary sometimes how much we look and act alike. I must leave him with the Declaration of Independence, but I hope we keep in close correspondence over the years.

4\. When I return from France, I have a letter from George Washington asking me to be Secretary of State. Of course, I will accept such an offer, and I prepare to launch my career even further. Here I come.

5\. James is extremely happy to see me again. We need to catch up over a beer. However, apparently, Hamilton's plan is "nothing less than government control". James has always been dramatic, but Hamilton is the human/man-child embodiment of a headache.

6\. It must be nice! It must be nice! To have Washington on your side… Hamilton got Washington in his back pocket while I was in France. James is on to something; follow the money. See where it goes. Follow the money… The emperor has no clothes; $1000 is separate accounts is hard to cover up, Hamilton. The evidence suggests you've engaged in speculation! The headlines will be fantastic, and I can't wait because this will end his career, for sure.

7\. Hamilton's never gonna be President now! He's never gonna be President! James Madison and I read the Reynolds Pamphlet together, and let me just say that Alexander Hamilton's career is done. I still sincerely hope he saved money for his wife and children, because from what Angelica has told me in her letters, Eliza is too pure and doesn't deserve any of this. I might go and offer her a pair of ears to listen and a shoulder to cry on. At least now I have one less thing to worry about. Hamilton's fallen from a great height; I knew he was nothing without Washington behind him.

8\. Eliza made Hamilton sleep in his office last night, after burning all the letters he ever wrote her. There is not a more ingenious plan that could have been carried out. Eliza knew burning the letters would sever and destroy Hamilton's two greatest loves: writing and his relationship with Eliza. Well played, Madame. Well played.

9\. Alexander Hamilton, my rival, my presidential promoter, my bitter enemy died this morning. Burr killed him across the Hudson. Good night, sweet prince. Even though I, frankly, despised you, you were my intellectual equal. Rest in peace, Alexander Hamilton.

10\. James and I found some of Hamilton's secret letters detailing how brilliant James and I are. I never knew he thought of us in such light. James and I decide he needs more credit for all the credit he gave us, both the monetary and written credit he has now bestowed upon America. It's no wonder I could never figure out your financial plan, Hamilton. It still is a mystery to me, and I have tried to unravel it many times with no success. You were an undefined and unrecognized genius who left this Earth somewhat ere your time.

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 **Author's Note: And there it is! Chapter Three of my very first** _ **Hamilton**_ **FanFiction! My younger sister Madison has been obsessed with the musical for about four or five months now, and she has made me a fan over the past three months. This story is dedicated to her, so I hope you enjoy, Madison! There will be more chapters to this, each with a different character, so stay tuned! If anyone has any suggestions for future characters or future realizations, please drop them in a PM or a review! I have four of the next chapter ready for James Madison and all of Aaron Burr's written for Chapter Five, but don't hesitate to tell me if you have any ideas! As always, reviews are always appreciated; until next time!**


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